Top 10 Things Every INFJ Wants You to Know

Top 10 Things Every INFJ Wants You to Know

10. We are planners

As with many other Judicial personality types, the INFJ enjoys structure and order. Though our intuition can cause our structure to fluctuate, we still thrive best when we can plan out the details of our situations and lives.

Sometimes, however, spontaneity can occur outside of our control. This deeply shakes us and we often respond to this loss of control with anger and frustration. Brandie, over at Little Left of Normal sums it up best when she says, “Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan…, and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation.”

9. We are extremely intelligent

INFJs are introverted thinkers and extroverted feelers. Because of this, we can struggle to articulate our thoughts. While we may, in our minds, be able to answer deep meaningful questions, retain amazing amounts of data and debate with the best of them, when asked to speak aloud, we often fumble, stutter over our words and say a small fraction of what we are actually thinking. This lands us the labels of slow-witted and unintelligent.

However, when we are comfortable with a person and situation and are given plenty of time to ponder an inquiry or organize our thoughts into words, we can speak fluidly, clearly and passionately on almost any subject.

8. We only need one person

Because we are introverts, INFJs are completely content being with just one person, whether a partner, friend or family member. When we make friends, it is usually for the long haul and it takes a lot to destroy a relationship. Unlike extroverts or some other introverts, INFJs can spend the rest of our lives with only ever being close to one person and never feel as though we are missing out on other relationships. In fact, we actually prefer it.

When we have many relationships in our lives, we can become easily overwhelmed and feel as though we are not giving our best to each relationship, leading us to feel unhappy, exhausted, and stretched thin.

7. Prolonged solitude kills us

While some introverts can be all by themselves for every second of the day and feel nothing but contentment, an INFJ needs to be around people. Though we still need time in solitude in order to recharge ourselves, too much time alone can leave us feeling drained, lonely and depressed. INFJs thrive on the emotions of others. We live for bettering others to better ourselves. We cannot do this if we are always by ourselves. When an INFJ does not have a close relationship, they can became depressed and feel empty.

6. We are perfectionists

INFJs are never happy with ourselves. No matter how much an INFJ has improved, there is always room to be better. Often times, we can struggle with relishing in our accomplishments since we continue to focus on where we have fallen short and how we could have done better. It can sometimes frustrate an INFJ to see others complacent with their current selves.

"INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there’s always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don’t often take time to revel in their accomplishments…they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families."
- Portrait of an INFJ, www.personalitypage.com

"INFJs often feel happiest and most fulfilled when helping others understand themselves and their problems." - Personality Junkie, INFJ

5. We are socially inept

While many INFJs can practice and put on a good show, most of us struggle with social norms and routines, especially if we see little use for them. Since, as mentioned before, we find it difficult to put our thoughts into words, we can feel uncomfortable being in situations that cause us to interact in a spontaneous manner, such as meeting someone new.

INFJs spend most of our time thinking through deep and complex matters, therefore shallow and menial conversations of everyday life can confuse and frustrate us. Talks of the weather and local sports are exhausting for us. We would much rather ask for life stories, sincere problems of which we can offer solutions and therapy session-like conversations. When we ask “how are you,” we mean it on the deepest and sincerest possible level.

4. Our label means a lot to us

While every person can be pinpointed as a specific Myers-Briggs Personality Type, INFJs tend to cling to our label as soon as we discover it. As we are the rarest personality type, making up an approximate 2% of the population, we spend most of our lives feeling lost and misunderstood. Once we learn that we are not alone and that there is an explanation as to why we have always felt different, we feel overjoyed and almost “normal.”

Even if the description of an INFJ does not fit us 100%, it still usually offers us a lot of information for which we have spent the majority of our lives searching. Those four little letters can be life-changing to an INFJ.

3. We are very open-minded

INFJs have an amazing ability to think abstractly. In our minds, it is easy to see gray areas and blurred lines. While we tend to have strong principles and passions, an INFJ can usually see another persons point-of-view on any situation. Whenever there is a difference of opinion, an INFJ is very driven to ask questions and seek information about the opposing side in order to understand the different perspective. This part of our personality leads to deep compassion and always giving others the benefit of the doubt.

2. We are warm-hearted

INFJs can outwardly appear cold. Because we tend to be very private and enjoy only opening up to our closest companions, others can see us as cold and detached. This is the furthest from the truth. INFJs are, in fact, extremely warm-hearted and open to everyone around us, but because we are socially inept, we can struggle with making others aware of this. Our compassion knows no limits and we are mostly selfless people. We hope that everyone can open up to us and know that we are there for them, however, we will probably not open up much to them by no fault of their own.

1. Our intuition is real

INFJs are known for being the most intuitive personality type. We “just know” a lot of information that we can never fully explain. Many sensing types and a few intuitive types cannot fully grasp our level of intuition and easily discredit our knowledge. Without any explanation as to why, we can feel the feelings of everyone around us as deeply as though they were our own.

As An Anonymous INFJ states: “In my experience, the most misunderstood part of an INFJ is how we feel everything those around us feel. We do not sympathize. We do not empathize. We literally feel exactly what you feel. Even if you are trying to hide it or don’t express your feelings, somehow we still know.”

Along with our open-mindedness and compassion, our ability to intuitively feel and sense things around us is a large part of why we can help others so easily. We just know what is best for those around us even if we cannot articulate why.

If you know an INFJ or want to be closer to an INFJ, believing in our intuition is the best thing you can do because it is the biggest part of who we are.

(Source: Link)

How Stress Brings Out the INFJ's Hidden Personality

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Work settings that do not permit sufficient autonomy or that offer few opportunities to work alone and intensively, and that do not provide the opportunity to be creative, think independently, and accomplish goals, are extremely stressful and undesirable for INFJs. INFJs hold very high standards of excellence for themselves and others, so issues of competence at work are quite important.

INFJs are intolerant of and impatient with inefficiency and with others’ avoidance of problems. They like to get to the heart of an issue immediately, which sometimes makes others uncomfortable. An INFJ finds it stressful “when there are multiple ‘agendas’ at play so that there is no sense of purpose or direction about an issue that may be a legitimate problem.”

INFJs are distressed by similar work characteristics, such as often focusing on the inability to achieve their vision of growth and development for people. Being unable to work at their own pace and within their own structure is also stressful. An INFJ cited as work stressors “lack of organization and vision by management.” In addition, another INFJ is stressed by “unclear goals, expectations, and others’ unwillingness to fit into my flexible time line.” INFJs find that dealing with details (often seen by them as irrelevant to the task) is extremely stressful. Other INFJs mention as stressful “noise, confusion, lack of order and direction,” “working with others and not being able to get alone,” “being led by the nose, not having a degree of autonomy.”

In a work situation in which the particular stressors for INFJs continue over long periods, they may respond quickly and intensely to the triggers described here. This increases the likelihood that their subsequent demonstrations of “grip” behaviour will be frequent and pervasive. When persistent stress causes them to be chronically in the grip of inferior Extraverted Sensing, they are likely to lose touch with their natural confidence and pleasure in their Intuition and come across as picky, fault-finding, narrow-minded, and unimaginative.

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Enneagram Type Two

http://www.dietnosis.com/enneagramtypes/enneagram-type-two/

Best Cities in America for 2013

Source :

http://www.movoto.com/blog/top-ten/best-cities-in-america-2013/

http://s3.amazonaws.com/movotoblog/2013/12/best-cities-in-america/table.html

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM?

YOU NEED TO BE IN CONTROL
You are likely to have found a niche in which you have established one or two clearly defined roles in relation to others — whether it is as schoolteacher or solicitor, as a mother or partner. Those who know you are likely to see you as confident, collected and convivial. When you find yourself outside your comfort zone, you scrabble to find a way to relate to those around you. In unstructured situations you are often riddled with angst. You could try broadening your horizons, and stretching your concerns beyond yourself. If you take a risk, you will prove that nothing terrible will happen if you’re not in control. Think of yourself beyond your roles: you are more than a parent, partner or employee. Think about what you believe in, what motivates you and gives your life meaning. Try developing interests beyond your area of expertise. Focus on the task in hand and the enjoyment of developing new skills, and you’ll worry less about your performance.

Test Link

Quotes diverse personalities

We need diverse personalities to make the world run more completely

How The Types Flirt

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ESTP: Here are my genitals, wanna touch? No? Anybody else?
ISTP: I would like to allow you to be around me for a while. BUT NOT FOR TOO LONG, BITCH.
ESFP: Let's talk about myself while doing shots. Please let me follow you around. Oh, shiny!!!
ISFP: Don't pay attention to me (please pay attention to me *single tear)
INTJ: Would you like to hear my theory about the relationship between density and gravitational pull? No? Well, how it works is...
INTP: *Shuffles around nervously* Let's talk about that thing we find mutually interesting in depth. Do you like comics? No. Movies? Yes?! So, I saw this movie and theoretically...
INFP: I won't hook up with you, I'm pure, how dare you. (please pursue me so we can take a bath together then do BDSM)
ENTJ: You fascinate me. Can I ask you a bunch of questions?
ENTP: You fascinate me. Can I ask you a bunch of questions and make you laugh with my goofiness?
ENFJ: I love everything you love!!! Tell me about yourself so I can adjust my personality accordingly.
ENFP: I love you. I don't know why I just know we're connected.
INFJ: I can see you have a beautiful energy. Let's go for a long walk and I'll tell you about it.
ESFJ: Let's go, like, shopping together for trendies! And then to church to confess our sins.
ISFJ: I did your laundry for you. Please keep me around.
ISTJ: *Nervous laugh* I would make a good partner for the following reasons
ESTJ: I think you'd get along well with my family, you should come to the country club this weekend

Personal Growth Recommendations for Enneagram Type Twos

Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Twos

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First and foremost, remember that if you are not addressing your own needs, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to meet anyone else's needs without problems, underlying resentments, and continual frustration. Further, you will be less able to respond to people in a balanced way if you have not gotten adequate rest, and taken care of yourself properly. It is not selfish to make sure that you are okay before attending to others' needs—it is simply common sense.

Try to become more conscious of your own motives when you decide to help someone. While doing good things for people is certainly an admirable trait, when you do so because you expect the other person to appreciate you or do something nice for you in return, you are setting yourself up for disappointments. Your type has a real danger of falling into unconscious codependent patterns with loved ones, and they almost never bring you what you really want.

While there are many things you might want to do for people, it is often better to ask them what they really need first. You are gifted at accurately intuiting others' feelings and needs, but that does not necessarily mean that they want those needs remedied by you in the way you have in mind. Communicate your intentions, and be willing to accept a "no thank you." Someone deciding that they do not want your particular offer of help does not mean that they dislike you or are rejecting you.

Resist the temptation to call attention to yourself and your good works. After you have done something for others, do not remind them about it. Let it be: either they will remember your kindness themselves and thank you in their own way or they will not. Your calling attention to what you have done for them only puts people on the spot and makes them feel uneasy. It will not satisfy anyone or improve your relationships.
Do not always be "doing" for people and above all do not try to get people to love you by giving them either gifts or undeserved praise. On the other hand, do not pointedly withdraw your service when others do not respond to you as you would like. Do not make what you do for others depend on how they respond to you. Help others when they ask for it, especially helping them to become more capable of functioning on their own.

Enneagraminstitute

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Start QUEST Here    

Group One
Most Like	Least Like
		I have tended to be fairly independent and assertive: I’ve felt that life works best when you meet it head on. I set my own goals, get involved, and want to make things happen. I don’t like sitting around—I want to achieve something big and have an impact. I don’t necessarily seek confrontations, but I don’t let people push me around, either. Most of the time, I know what I want, and I go for it. I tend to work hard and to play hard.
		I have tended to be quiet, and am used to being on my own. I usually don’t draw much attention to myself socially, and it’s generally unusual for me to assert myself all that forcefully. I don’t feel comfortable taking the lead or being as competitive as others. Many would probably say that I’m something of a dreamer—a lot of my excitement goes on in my imagination. I can be quite content without feeling I have to be active all the time.
		I have tended to be extremely responsible and dedicated. I feel terrible if I don’t keep my commitments and do what’s expected of me. I want people to know that I’m there for them and that I’ll do what I believe is best for them. I’ve often made great personal sacrifices for the sake of others, whether they know it or not. I often don’t take adequate care of myself—I do the work that needs to be done and relax (and do what I want) if there’s time left.
Group Two
Most Like	Least Like
		I am a person who usually maintains a positive outlook and feels that things will work out for the best. I can usually find something to be enthusiastic about and different ways to occupy myself. I like being around people and helping others be happy—I enjoy sharing my own well-being with them. (I don’t always feel great, but I try not to show it to anyone!) However, staying positive has sometimes meant that I’ve put off dealing with my own problems for too long.
		I am a person who has strong feelings about things—most people can tell when I’m upset about something. I can be guarded with people, but I’m more sensitive than I let on. I want to know where I stand with others and who and what I can count on—it’s pretty clear to most people where they stand with me. When I’m upset about something, I want others to respond and to get as worked up as I am. I know the rules, but I don’t want people telling me what to do. I want to decide for myself.
		I am a person who is self-controlled and logical—I don’t like revealing my feelings or getting bogged down in them. I am efficient—even perfectionistic about my work—and prefer working on my own. If there are problems or personal conflicts, I try not to let my feelings influence my actions. Some say I’m too cool and detached, but I don’t want my private reactions to distract me from what’s really important. I am glad that I usually don’t show my reactions when others “get to me.”

• I have tended to be extremely responsible and dedicated. I feel terrible if I don’t keep my commitments and do what’s expected of me. I want people to know that I’m there for them and that I’ll do what I believe is best for them. I’ve often made great personal sacrifices for the sake of others, whether they know it or not. I often don’t take adequate care of myself—I do the work that needs to be done and relax (and do what I want) if there’s time left.
• I am a person who usually maintains a positive outlook and feels that things will work out for the best. I can usually find something to be enthusiastic about and different ways to occupy myself. I like being around people and helping others be happy—I enjoy sharing my own well-being with them. (I don’t always feel great, but I try not to show it to anyone!) However, staying positive has sometimes meant that I’ve put off dealing with my own problems for too long.

Probabilities for Your Type One of these three types is most probably your type   1, 2, 9 These types have a lower probability of being your type   5, 6, 7 These types have a low probability of being your type   3, 4, 8

One of the top three types above is about 80% likely to be your basic personality type. To refine this further for yourself, read about these three types, below, to see which of the them fits you the best. In brief, the types are: Type Descriptions Type One: The Reformer The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic     Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic. Type Two: The Helper The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive     Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others. Type Three: The Achiever The Success-Oriented, Efficient Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious     Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be-role models who inspire others. Type Four: The Individualist The Sensitive, Introspective Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental     Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences. Type Five: The Investigator The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated     Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way. Type Six: The Loyalist The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious     Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious-running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others. Type Seven: The Enthusiast The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered     Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied. Type Eight: The Challenger The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational     Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self-mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring. Type Nine: The Peacemaker The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent     Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually grounded, supportive, and often creative, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent and emotionally distant, simplifying problems and ignoring anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.

The difference between empathy and sympathy

In an animated short titled “The Power of Empathy,” research professor Dr. Brené Brown explains a key component of being human in a clear, simple fashion. The Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts (RSA) provides the visual narrative.

When someone’s kind of in a deep hole and they shout out from the bottom and they say, “I’m stuck. It’s dark. I’m overwhelmed.” And then we look and we say “hey,” and we  climb down, “I know what it’s like down here and you’re not alone.” What is something better is connetion.

animated by Katy Davis

via Dr. Brené Brown

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DiSC Classic 2 – Perfectionist Pattern (15 of 16)

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DiSC Classic 2 – Conscientiousness Family – “Perfectionist” Pattern  –  C/s

The DiSC Classic Profile Perfectionist Pattern is the second of three from within the Conscientiousness Family of profiles.  It is represented by a Primary C and secondary s.

If it can’t be done right, then why do anything at all – that is the mantra of the Perfectionist Styles.  Cs styles are driven by a need for accuracy and logic.  The C needs precision, and the s is driven by patience, resulting in an individual with a strong quality focus.

DiSC Classic Profile – Perfectionists are precise thinkers and employ plans and procedures for both their personal and professional lives, thus avoiding the unexpected.  They use due diligence when called upon for detailed accuracy.  They question assumptions and require loads of information that they can analyze when exploring alternatives and before making a decision or reaching conclusions. 

C’s have high standards and adhere to pre-set procedures for accomplishments.  They enjoy overcoming challenges through persistence and intense focus of attention.  C’s can benefit from people who bring levity and positive energy to the environment, in order to provide encouraging feedback and boost morale.

Observable Behaviors:	Reserved, deliberate, precise, cautious
Motivated By	Predictable and stable outcomes
Judges  Others By	Precision and high standards
Influences Others By	Accuracy and attention to detail
Value to the Team	Quality Control and maintaining standards
Overuses	Clings to past procedures and “fail safe” options
When Stressed	Resorts to tact and diplomacy
Fears	Hostile antagonistic environment
DiSC Classic Profile – Opportunities for Increased Effectiveness:With Tasks:Be willing to experiment and take some risks to get new, better results.  Develop role flexibility. With People:Be surrounded by people who can see the big picture without getting bogged down in details. Balance working alone with working with others.

It’s Your Turn

What do you think?  Tell us about your DiSC Classical Pattern and how you use your knowledge of DiSC Profiles in your work team by posting your comments below!

Or… Click on the links below to view any of the 15  DiSC Classical patterns

DiSC Classic Profile – High D Personality – The Dominance Family:
Developer●, Results Oriented, Inspirational, Creative
   

DiSC Classic Profile – High I Personality – Influence Family:
Promoter●, Persuader, Counselor, Appraiser
   

DiSC Classic Profile – High S Personality – Steadiness Family:
Specialist●, Achiever, Agent, Investigator
   

DiSC Classic Profile – High C Personality – Conscientiousness Family:
Objective Thinker●, Perfectionist, and Practitioner