Apology

Human relations can be so simple. If you're mistaken, ask for an apology and then the other person accepts it and things get well. But, ego spoils everything. — feeling confused.

WHAT DOOR WOULD YOU WALK THROUGH? ~ PERSONALITY TEST ~




WHAT DOOR WOULD YOU WALK THROUGH? ~ PERSONALITY TEST ~ Pick the door that looks the most appealing to you. This might reveal a few things about your personality. Let us know what door you picked and if the answer was accurate for you. Feel free to SHARE! 1 - You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you ever feel that you need help or support, it is OK to just ask someone. 2- You are clean and simple and don’t like any frills. You might strive to have a clean and perfect existence; but is it totally worth it? Don’t you feel that there is something missing? You are all about your personal achievements and you take pride in your work or career. Although you might be on track with your career path or have a few diplomas/ certificates on your wall, you need to spend more time on developing yourself as a person. Remember... the real you. Life is all about creating balance, surrounding yourself with color and creating memorable adventures. If you are finding that you have been taking the safe road lately, try veering off the beaten path. You might surprise yourself! 3 – It is obvious you are a quirky individual and very interesting to the people that you let into your life. You are good at many things... a “Jack or Jill of all trades”. You are an artistic individual that expresses yourself in many ways. You can make something out of anything and are not a stranger to your local thrift shop. You can basically make vintage “new” again. It is easy to get stuck inside the house or inside your urban bubble; but remember that you have to get out and connect with nature. It is time to come down out of the clouds and get grounded! 4 – You are an old soul that can be slightly dramatic. You are a very artistic person that loves to express yourself through writing, music, art or some kind of expression. You are a dichotomy; for you can be very open and friendly, yet closed and deeply private. You often have your guard up, keeping your thoughts and troubles to yourself. Although you might think that nobody will truly understand you, if you allow yourself to open up and share your feelings, you will feel so much better. Deep down you are not aright with any imperfections and you feel the need to come across as “the rock” in any group situation. Know that people are willing to share their feelings with you and want you to share your feelings with them. 5 – It is very important for you to fit in and feel as though you are a major contributor in every situation. You always have things going on, for being productive is what makes you feel at ease. Your busy-ness can sometimes cause the need for you to become more aware of what is really going on around you. What does your body want you to be doing? It is alright to relax on a Monday and simply just BE. Feel free to take some time to figure out what you really love to do. Possibly try some new hobbies or activities that are out of your normal routine. Explore being you, even if that means relaxing. Life is not just about how many muffins you can make in a single batch or how many fit-it jobs you can do in one day. 6 – You are a confident person with an eye for detail. You can come across as someone who is all together and exciting; yet you are just YOU on the inside. You care about your appearance and how the world sees you, yet the inside your home or car is probably a total mess! Your personality can be self destructive, for you could turn against yourself when the going gets tough. The life of a person who is a living a total contradiction... has got to be a difficult one. Remember to breathe and just relax. Life is not just about pleasing others. Truth is, the world isn’t always watching... Take time to reflect on who you truly want to be? What is it that you truly want to do? 7 – You are a simple minimalist that always has important things to do. You care for others and find your time anything but your own. You surround yourself with meaningful things, for you are very sentimental. Family and friends are very important to you and you would do anything for them. Not putting yourself first has made your life a safe and complacent one. What is it that can enrich your life today? What will make your life more colorful and enjoyable? Even though life gives you labels such as a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, manager, etc; remember that your life is still YOUR life. Take a moment to decide what you want your future to look like. It is perfectly acceptable to want wonderful things to happen to you. Carpe Diem. 8 – Your fun and playful personality keeps you young and youthful. Although you are easy going, you tend to have lower self-confidence and anxiety about specific things in your life. You are usually unorganized; yet don’t even know where to start to help yourself to fix the messy problem. You are a proud individual but you need to learn to love yourself more. You need to take the time to find yourself through self expression. How are you currently expressing yourself to the world? Remember that there are people around you that can help you, but you need to let them know you are willing to receive help. Life is easier when you let people in. 9 – You are a quirky person that is always making things work. You are an amazing problem solver that prides yourself on your thrifty living. You like to live an uncomplicated life and usually get by with the basics. Why would you need anything else? You are very easy to please and love doing things for others. Whether it be fixing your neighbors toilet, building a bird house for your mother out of reclaimed wood or helping your friend find a great living room set at the thrift shop; you are always there to lend a hand. Remember that life is special. It is OK to treat yourself to amazing things. You are special too! 10 – You are one who truly appreciates stability and wholeness. You are a reliable person that takes pride in their love of quality and detail. Some might say “cookie cutter”, but you say dependable! You always know what you are getting because you have checked the consumer reports. You love safety and security in all parts of your life. You prefer not to have anything frivolous or extra, if you can’t see the use for it. Chances are you have some sort of creative side that you have curbed in some way. You might love scrap-booking, music or art; yet would never try to make it your career. You feel your problems are your own and nobody needs to be burdened with them. Just keep in mind that exposing your true self to the world (or your neighbors) is not a crime. We are all human.www.connectiontocreative.com

INFJ Personality Description

http://personalitygrowth.com/infj-personality-description/

INFJ Personality Description
INFJs want to make an impact on the world in some way. This can lead them to have high expectations over themselves as well as others. They tend to want to push themselves and set the bar a little bit higher and work really hard towards achieving those goals.
INFJs are also great listeners. They’re really great at empathizing and understanding other people. They’re good at taking a back seat to talking and just absorbing what the other person has to say and really understanding them.
They are great at empathizing with other people but sometimes their desire to keep the peace can stop them from speaking up and saying what they are feeling internally. Ignoring their own feeling for too long can lead to stress.
INFJs could also have trouble managing their money and their expenses. By nature they want to help other people, and that could be through buying a gift for a friend or possibly helping others out financially. This could cause them to sometimes spend their money in a way that can cause some problems in the future. An INFJ with balanced Introverted Thinking may become better with this in the future.
INFJs also have a high dislike of conflict. By nature INFJs are very in tune with others emotions and they want to keep the peace. So causing a conflict in a relationship can be a problem at times and it could be an issue where their feelings get in the way of wanting to say what they truly mean.
INFJs may also have difficulties ending troubled relationships. They could get into relationships where they feel that they can fix the other person and begin to see that as their duty. This could cause them to get the short side of the stick, so to speak. They may be internally torn between wanting to help the person but feel that the relationship is not helping them to move in the right direction.
by SCOTT CHAMBERS

INFJ Personality Description
To understand the INFJ, first we’ll have to understand their four main functions.
INFJ Functions
Introverted Intuition
Extraverted Feeling
Introverted Thinking
Extraverted Sensing
Introverted Intuition

The first primary function of an INFJ is Introverted Intuition or Ni. This is basically their internal way of seeing the world. It can be hard to explain to others, but it is essentially an internal sense of where they believe plans are going, or certain reactions that they expect in situations. It can be a bit mystical to others. It can sometimes predict the future very accurately but sometimes the INFJ can have trouble explaining their reasoning to other people.

Extraverted Feeling
The INFJs second function is Extraverted Feeling or Fe. This is their external way of primarily dealing with the world. The INFJ is very good at understanding other people’s feelings, motives, and just where others are coming from. They are very good at empathizing with other people and understanding other people. They may also be able to sense others emotions before that person does and react accordingly. The INFJs use this Extraverted Feeling and with their Introverted Intuition to help shape their world views.

Introverted Thinking
Something that is developed a little bit later on in the INFJs life is their Introverted Thinking or Ti. This is more of an internal logical framework about how things work and how the world works in it. This function works together with Ni to form their inner structure of how they see and interpret things. Ti is almost like a blueprint that they learn and develop later on in their life. It can be useful in separating the personal emotions from a situation and making a more logical analysis of the event.

Extraverted Sensing
Their fourth function is Extraverted Sensing or Se. This one is developed a lot later in life and never really becomes a dominate function because it goes against their first function of Introverted Intuition. Extraverted Sensing involves interpreting situations in the moment and being present and aware of your surroundings. This a bit of a weaker function so it could come out during stress. If they are in a bad situation, they become more impulsive and louder than they normally act.

INFJ Strengths
A strength of a INFJ is that they are very warm and self-sacrificing. They will bend over backwards for somebody that they care about or somebody that they’re close to. They have a very warm personality that is very caring.
In a serious relationship they will give 110% to that person and make sure that those that they care about feel great. They have a strong desire to take care of them. INFJs are also very serious about their responsibilities. They are determined to complete whatever they see as their duty or feel obligated about. They are very serious about taking care of those matters.

INFJ Weaknesses
As with any type, while all types have their strengths, they also can have weaknesses that can come out from time to time. A weakness of the INFJ could be that they hide their feelings from the world.
INFJ Under Stress
When an INFJ is under stress, this can cause some problems. One problem is that they may become impulsive and ignore their inner self. They might act on impulse and just live in the moment. This is from them over indulging in their Extraverted Sensing mentioned earlier.
Se could allow the INFJ to stand their ground and defend themselves, however, living in the moment could also cause them ignore their inner self and what they believe themselves to be. This can possibly make them behave in a way that is completely against how they feel they want to be as person.
INFJs under stress also have a tendency to leave a bad situation and cut all ties. They might just quit a job or completely leave a situation or relationship, or possibly move somewhere new to escape their bad feelings. They could have a fight or flight response in these situations. It is important for the INFJ to recognize that their feelings will pass and the situation can be fixed.
The INFJ can also become very picky and fault finding. This can form almost as a defense mechanism. They have an internal vision that they want to see develop. And if they’re in a situation where no one else really has a vision or wants things to change, it can really make them frustrated and want to speak out against that.

Critical Thinking


ISFJ Personality Type Profile By Dr. A.J. Drenth

Link

ISFJ Personality Type Profile

In contrast to INFJs, ISFJs are among the more commonly encountered personality types, thought to comprise upwards of 8% of the general population.
To understand ISFJs, we must first consider their dominant function, Introverted Sensing (Si), which compels them to preserve and protect past ways of doing things. This is why David Keirsey has dubbed them “guardians.” Like other SJ types, they grow attached to the routine, familiar, and expected. The more often they do something in a particular way (e.g., eat a certain type of meal for lunch), the harder it is for them to break out of that pattern. The same can be said of their beliefs and worldview. As adults, ISFJs often persist in the beliefs and worldview of their childhood. In sum, they can be seen to rely heavily on past precedent, both behaviorally and ideationally.
While sometimes viewed as stubborn or nitpicky, ISFJs are actually more easygoing than they are often given credit for. Since their dominant function (Si) is a Perceiving function, they are naturally inclined to assume a receptive rather than a controlling role. Unfortunately, this often goes unnoticed by the casual onlooker, since Si introverted in direction. Especially in their free time, ISFJs know how to be leisurely, something ESFJs can have a harder time with.
Abraham Lincoln, ISFJ
Abraham Lincoln, ISFJ
In sharing the identical set of psychological functions, ISFJs resemble ESFJs. One difference is ESFJs tend to more warm and engaging upfront, while ISFJs can be a bit more reserved and take longer to warm-up. These two types also differ with respect to inferior function issues, with ISFJs wrestling with Ne and ESFJs with Ti.
ISFJs also resemble ISTJs, since they share the same dominant and inferior function. However, their auxiliary functions do confer significant differences. ISFJs use Extraverted Feeling (Fe) as their auxiliary function, which grants them a greater measure of social intelligence. While ISTJs may lack some degree of social grace, their auxiliary Te contributes stronger powers of logical and tactical intelligence. ISFJs’ Fe may also contribute an added measure of open-mindedness, at least outwardly. However, this may be more a matter of ISFJs’ concern for interpersonal harmony than a true difference in openness.
Although differing by only one “preference” (i.e., J-P), ISFJs actually share zero functions with ISFPs. ISFPs, who use Se instead of Si, are less concerned with past precedent than ISFJs are. And because of their Fi, ISFPs are more individualistic and less objective in their judging process. Their Se also confers a greater interest in sensory and material novelty. Moreover, ISFPs are inclined toward “hands-on” or what is described as “Realistic” work on the Holland career inventory. ISFJ career-seekers, by contrast, are typically less interested in getting their hands dirty. They are more apt to pursue “Conventional” than Realistic careers. While both ISFJs and ISFPs may take up “Social” sorts of work, ISFJs gravitate toward more abstract occupations, such as teaching, whereas ISFPs, prefer more hands-on careers, such as nursing. ISFJs also make effective managers of people, balancing care and concern with organizational know-how.
All in all, ISFJs are among the most loyal, dutiful, and responsible of all types. They are admired for their devotion and steadfastness. They make loyal friends and companions, especially for those with similar values and lifestyles.

ISFJ Personality Type Development & Functional Stack

ISFJs’ functional stack is composed of the following functions:
Dominant: Introverted Sensing (Si)
Auxiliary: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
Tertiary:  Introverted Thinking (Ti)
Inferior:  Extraverted Intuition (Ne)
ISFJs’ personality type development can be broadly conceived as consisting of three phases:
Phase I (Childhood-20s)
Phase I is characterized by the development and rise to power of ISFJs’ dominant function, Introverted Sensing (Si). ISFJs use their Si to absorb, integrate, and reflect on acquired information and personal experiences. Since Si corresponds with memory and recall, ISFJs can amass a great deal of information in Phase I.
Phase I ISFJs may also show some development of their auxiliary function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), which can serve as a helpful extraverted tool for navigating and managing the outside world.
Phase II (Late Teens-30s)
While the inferior function is not entirely dormant or inert in Phase I, the epic tug-of-war between the dominant and inferior does not come to the fore until Phase II. Once ISFJs’ dominant Si reaches a certain threshold of strength and dominance, their inferior function, Extraverted Intuition (Ne), begins to assert itself and play a more prominent role. This can be somewhat confusing since Ne is not next in line in ISFJs’ functional stack, but can be understood as deriving from its bipolar relationship with their dominant Si.
Phase II ISFJs also show increasing use and development of their Fe, allowing them to form and express judgments. They may even begin to tap into their tertiary function, Introverted Thinking (Ti), which serves to cross-check and refine their Fe judgments.
Phase III (30s, 40s, & Beyond)
If all goes well and they are fortunate enough to enter Phase III, ISFJs become increasingly aware of the insidious ways of their inferior Ne. As they become more aware of their inferior and learn to function more healthily as ISFJs, they experience greater balance between their Si and Ne, as well as an increasing sense of peace and wholeness.

ISFJs’ Dominant Function: Introverted Sensing (Si)

ISFJs use Introverted Sensing (Si) as their dominant function. Si is the function that undergirds ISFJs’ propensity to function as guardians and conservators of tradition. The longer they are immersed in particular set of circumstances, the more difficult it can be for them to open themselves to alternatives. Because Si is a Perceiving function, ISFJs are less inclined to function as frontline activists for their beliefs than ESJs, whose dominant function is a Judging function. Instead, ISFJs prefer to spend time reflecting on the past or their cherished traditions. Many enjoy attending religious services or studying religious texts, activities that strengthen and bolster their Si beliefs.
One of the most commonly overlooked features of Si is its role in bodily sensation. Namely, Si monitors internal bodily affairs, ensuring that physical needs are optimally satisfied. Being an introverted function, Si is more intensive than Se is, which can make ISFJs more sensitive to a variety of sensory stimuli such as lighting, room temperature, noise levels, sleeping surfaces, etc. They can also be sensitive to strong flavors and unfamiliar textures, which is why they commonly prefer what Se types might consider a bland, simple, or routinized diet.
The bodily role of Si can also influence ISFJs’ health. It may, for instance, allow them to be more attuned to when they are full, thereby preventing overeating. On the other hand, it could play a role in health problems, such as hypochondriasis, in which normal sensations become amplified and interpreted as signs of illness.
We can also compare Si with its intuitive cousin, Ni. As Perceiving functions, both can be viewed as functioning rather passively. Both can also be associated with a strong sense of conviction, which is why SJs and NJs alike can seem outwardly stubborn, opinionated, or closed-minded. The primary difference between these two functions is that Ni is a synthesizing function, producing its own impressions and interpretations. Si, by contrast, does not perceive a different reality behind sense data, but compares present experiences to past ones. For Ni, each experience is approach as new and interpreted on its own terms, whereas for Si, the past is granted a more prominent role.
While it can be easy for some types to criticize ISFJs for their conservative ways, we should not overlook their value and purpose. In addition to helping and teaching others (Fe), ISFJs help remind us of where we’ve been (Si) in order to prevent us from repeating our past mistakes. Si serves as a necessary cultural counterbalance to Se, reminding us that material resources are not unlimited and should be managed with care and wisdom. (This Personality Junkie type profile is continued on the next page.)



Rethinking Judging & Perceiving: Part II: Convergence & Closure

In Rethinking Judging and Perceiving in IPs and IJs, I described how the  J-P dimension can be confusing for IPs and IJs because the J-P nature of their dominant function is actually opposite that of their type’s J-P designation. I went on to suggest that, because of their dominant Judging function (Ti or Fi), IPs may in some respects function more like J-types while IJs, because of their dominant Perceiving function (Si or Ni), may in some ways function more like P-types. I also surmised that IPs, because of their dominant Judging function, are apt to be intentional and willful in initiating work toward a goal, while IJs, because of their dominant Perceiving function, are naturally more content and comfortable remaining in a purely perceptive state. Unfortunately, this nuanced understanding has not been incorporated into the MBTI, which continues to ascribe stronger willfulness or goal-orientation to J-types across the board.
Having recently been inspired to revisit the J-P dimension, I still feel the above assertions are generally sound. I did realize, however, that my original post failed to address an equally important element of the J-P dimension, which I will generally refer to as convergence. Historically, the Myers-Briggs community has used a similar term, that of closure. While closure and convergence certainly overlap in terms of their connotation, closure may take on a more negative connotation if associated with closed-mindedness, making convergence a better option in some respects. As we will see, convergence seems to be a consistent feature of all J-types. In this post, we will explore how convergence and closure relate to J and P-types respectively.

Judging Types & Convergence

Since the J-P dimension was originally formulated to reflect a type’s outer presentation, J-types, by definition, are  more outwardly convergent in their expressions. They exude a sense of closure, firmness, and directness in their communication and mannerisms. This is particularly evident in EJ types.
In my view, there is also a sense in which the inner world of J-types is more convergent than that of P-types. While SJs and NJs may conceive of the world quite differently, they are similar in their tendency to see one view or one answer as correct or appropriate. Unlike Se and Ne, functions which are characteristically divergent, open-ended, and less discriminating, Si and Ni are more convergent, producing what amounts to a singular vision of things. Si effectively takes the entirety of an individual’s past experiences and condenses them into a single worldview or lifestyle. This is why SJs are notorious for being creatures of tradition and habit. They see the past as a blueprint for the present.
Introverted Intuition (Ni) also functions convergently. It synthesizes past and present information into a single intuition or “impression.” Since Ni does not rely on past precedent, there is a sense in which Ni seems more open than Si. But there is still a sense in which Ni builds a stable worldview over time, one that seems less susceptible to drastic shifts or “crises of knowing” than that of NPs.
The above may explain why J-types seem less wishy-washy and better at “staying the course” than P-types. It may be that the inner clarity and convergence of Si/Ni beget consistency and predictability in both thought and action.
Since their ideation seem less susceptible to significant perturbations or fluctuations, J-types seem to have an easier time typing themselves. They also seem less sensitive to or concerned with potential exceptions or inconsistencies in their beliefs. Unlike P-types, whose beliefs can be seriously shaken by a single exception or contradiction, J-types seem more resilient and steadfast in their convictions.

Perceiving Types: Doubting & Diverging

P-types generally experience less inner clarity, conviction, and convergence than J-types do. NPs, in particular, find it difficult not to see many matters as grey or ambiguous (including their personality type designation, career paths, relationships, etc.). This can be attributed to their Extraverted Intuition (Ne), which specializes in injecting uncertainty into things. Ne sees multiple explanations and possibilities for nearly everything (“The possibilities are endless!”). Consequently, granting top and consistent priority to a single vision or version of reality can prove difficult for NPs, especially in the first half of life.
SPs also exhibit diminished convergence compared to their SJ counterparts. While SPs may not fluctuate philosophically as much as NPs, they often show significant uncertainty with respect to practical matters, such as settling on a career or romantic partner.
The primary means by which P-types move toward convergence is trial-and-error experimentation. For NPs, this involves trying on new ideas, while for SPs, the focus is on seeking new sensory experiences. Either way, P-types need ample time before they can authentically arrive at anything resembling a firm conclusion. This of course assumes they have not “jumped the (functional) stack,” which can lead them to draw conclusions before surveying all the options.

Do Judging Types Prefer Closure? External Structure?

Having established that J-types achieve convergence or closure more readily than P-types, let’s now consider whether J-types actually prefer closure. Historically, Myers-Briggs folks have suggested that J-types do in fact prefer closure. In my view, this is primarily true of EJ types, but not necessarily IJs. Since IJs dominant function is a Perceiving function, it seems contradictory to suggest they are preoccupied with closure, at least not inner closure. (This Personality Junkie post is continued on the next page.)

Things to Know about an ISFJ

http://cabdriversandcoffeepots.blogspot.com/2014/01/things-to-know-about-isfj.html



 Do not manipulate your ISFJ's emotions.

This can mean literally anything. ISFJs are ripe for abuse because we are Fe (external feeling) users, meaning we care about the feelings of others and will usually give those feelings precedence over our own.
Picture this, a wife who barely goes out anymore because of home responsibilities, has planned to spend an evening with her girlfriends. The day of the event, her husband gives her “the look.” He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to because “the look” says it all. She’s being selfish and abandoning her family when they need her to cook dinner and give the kids their baths. So, what does she do? No ISFJ in the world would have a good time at that dinner after she’s been given “the look” of condemnation by someone she loves. So, she cancels, and goes another long stretch without seeing her friends.
Do not do this to your ISFJ! We have hopes and dreams and plans just like anybody else. We want to go see a movie so we plan to go. Don’t give us the evil eye when we choose to do something for ourselves for once.
Speaking from personal experience, I suffer immense amounts of guilt when I’ve displeased, or think I’ve displeased, a family member. If I even suspect that a family member doesn’t want me to do something then I’ll likely cancel my plans because I don’t want to cause friction. It's sort of a stupid martyr complex, but that's how we are, putting others first. Trust me, it’s no fun being on this side of that equation! I’d give anything to let myself be selfish and not really care what others think, but that’s not who I am. I put others first, as do all ISFJs since Fe is our secondary function.
Do NOT take advantage of this weakness in your ISFJ.
Why you ask?
Because eventually your ISFJ will have an emotional meltdown that could result in them hiding in their room for days at a time or, possibly worse, they will leave you in a fit of rage. You stifle an ISFJ’s plans or goals over a long period of time and you’re setting yourself up to eventually be dropped like a hot potato when they reach the breaking point.


Do not take away an ISFJ’s sensory enjoyments.

A lot of Se users don’t understand this and never will, but for a Si (internal sensing) user, things that hold memories are practically our life’s blood. For an ISFJ, memory, or Si, is our primary function! We connect everything to our past. Everything we learn now has some correlation to what we have learned before. I can look at anything and everything in my room and I know who gave it to me or where I purchased it.
If you want to make your ISFJ miserable, toss out all of the sentimental knick-knacks.
All ISFJs need a safe haven where they can be themselves. Mine is my bedroom which I decorate the way I want. Everything in my room holds some special meaning to me, a connection to my past experiences and happiness. The worst feeling in the world is when I take down décor and don’t have time to replace it. I get irritable and depressed in a very short period of time.
ISFJs don’t do well with voids. We can’t just take something away and not replace it with something else that also has sentimental meaning. I don’t keep a lot of personal photos in my room, but I do keep objects that harbor memories.
Keep that in mind the next time you’re frustrated with your Si user’s “clutter.” Sure, they might be messy, but that can be remedied. More importantly, they’re cherishing the memories they’ve built. That hideous old teddy bear might disgust you, but it was their first toy and brings them comfort.
Let your ISFJ, or really any Si user, have their space, and don’t try to control what they put in that space (unless, of course, it’s creepy and obviously bad for them, then consider intervening)!

Show your ISFJ that you need them.

ISFJs are hard-wired to help people. We have immense amounts of sympathy. If someone is going through a difficult time, we want to help that person, even if it means just offering gentle verbal support. If a person is genuinely suffering or worried through no fault of their own, an ISFJ will jump right in and offer any support that is needed.
Why?
Because we are Fe users, and other people’s feelings are our thing!
If you are constantly pushing away your Fe user, refusing to confide in them about your problems, well, at some point that Fe user will shut off the caring. We love to help others, but you need to let us help. I don’t know if this is indicative of most ISFJs, but for me, if someone keeps shutting me out, eventually I’ll stop caring about that person and just let them go. It might seem cruel, but it’s only rational.
The ISFJ only stays where they’re needed. If you’re not showing your ISFJ that you need them, expect them to walk away at some point.

Don’t play mind-games with your ISFJ.

We don’t like it.
For any fans of BBC’s Sherlock, think back to The Hounds of Baskerville in the 2nd season. Take this commentary with a grain of salt and remember that I love this show too. Remember that moment when Sherlock (ISTP) locked John (ISFJ) in the lab after dosing him with a hallucinogen? Sherlock treated John like a lab rat, his supposed “best friend.”
Don’t do this to your ISFJ. Don’t try to trick them into behaving a certain way so you can observe a reaction, or just because you want to. And when I say mind-games, I mean ones that are designed to emotionally harm or manipulate the ISFJ. John is a mentally strong man and he gets angry just like anyone else, but I got even angrier in that episode. If it had been me, I’d have walked away from Sherlock because he abused my trust. This might be simply because I’m female, but take this to heart, your ISFJ will in all likelihood leave you if you try to pull evil, Sherlockian mind-games on them, particularly if you’re doing it just because you can.

Keep in mind that your ISFJ is intuitive to your moods.

Ne (or external intuition) is my weakest function, but personal necessity has developed it more than usual. Because it is enhanced and combined with my Si and Fe, I am highly intuitive of other people’s moods. Sometimes I’m wrong, sometimes I’m right, but if there’s even a hair out of place in another person’s mood, especially a loved one, I worry, immediately. And because I’m a Fe user, I am like a sponge to other people’s moods. Not only do I know that something’s wrong, but in a very short period of time, my good mood can turn to reflect someone else’s bad mood.
Talk to your Ne/Fe user about what’s going on. Even if it’s just a few sentences, be sensitive to the fact that they already know something’s up and you’re freaking them out. If you’re having a bad day, say so, but if your bad mood isn’t because of them, assure them that it’s not because one of the first things a Ne/Fe user will assume is that they’ve caused your bad mood. 

Conclusion

I hope my little post on the ISFJ has helped you in some way. If you are an ISFJ, then maybe it’s helped clarify some things and shown you that you’re not alone in how you react. You’re totally normal, I swear. And if you’re dealing with an ISFJ, well, maybe this will help you understand them better. We are sensitive, much more than most ISFJs let on. Respect that, and us, and you literally have a friend for life. John sticks with Sherlock through an act of God, Sherlock's occasional apologies, and clever writing.

For some terrific posts on the cognitive functions of the MBTI, try the following links on the Funky MBTI Fiction Tumblr: Understanding Ne and Ni, Understanding Se and Si, Understanding Fe and Fi, Understanding Te and Ti

Si: Introverted Sensing (ISFJ)

Si: Introverted Sensing (ISFJ)

Introverted Sensing is the storing of data and then the comparison of that data with other experiences. For example, when we see a movie that reminds us of another similar movie. Or when we see a person that reminds us of someone else. We also use past experiences to learn how to handle similar current situations. There is great attention to detail with Introverted Sensing.

Ni: Introverted Intuition (INFJ)

Ni: Introverted Intuition (INFJ)

This function allows a person to gain a sense about the future by processing data through impressions and meanings. We find ourselves discovering how the future will be by signs, trends, and patterns. We will find relationships between many ideas, and find ideas similar to those ideas in order to look for a main idea that is made up of these smaller ideas. These ideas and similar ideas come to one main idea that will turn out to be true and give the sense of an “Aha!” moment.

Have you been hugged lately


I have seen a few posts about INFJ's not liking hugs, I hope this will help you to be more open to them...





















"The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds, but researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. 

The reason is that a sincere hug produces a hormone called "oxytocin", also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety.

This wonderful calming is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, when we cradled a child, cherish a dog or cat, we're dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or just hold the shoulders of a friend."

Try it out and hug a Beloved today!

An FBI Agent Reveals 5 Steps To Gaining Anyone's Trust

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Editor's note: The five steps are listed at the bottom of the post.
I had an opportunity to ask Robin Dreeke a few questions. Robin is in charge of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s elite Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program and the author of "It’s Not All About Me."
Robin combines science and years of work in the field to offer practical tips to build rapport and establish trust. In this brief interview he discusses building relationships, how to approach someone you don’t know and ask for a favor, and the keys to establishing trust.
A lot of people are interested in strengthening and furthering relationships. How can people do this?
This is the most important aspect of everything we do in life. I’m going to give some light science behind each of my answers but to me it just explains the subjective simple explanations behind naturally great trusting relationships.
Both anecdotal (evidence) as well as science supports the fact that the greatest happiness is found in positive social interactions and relationships. The simplest answer to this is to “make it all about them.” Our brain rewards us chemically when we are able to talk and share our own views, priorities, and goals with others… long term, short term, etc. Our brain also rewards us when we are unconditionally accepted for who we are as a human being without judgement.
Both of these concepts are genetically coded in each of us (to varying degrees) because of our ancient survival instincts (ego-centrism) as well as our need to belong to groups or a tribe (tribal mentality for survival and resources). When you put these simple concepts together the answer is simple to understand, but oftentimes difficult to execute…. Speak in terms of the other person’s interests and priorities and then validate them, their choices, and who they are non-judgmentally. Some people do this naturally, for the rest of us you can build this skill and it eventually becomes second nature.
Trust is a foundation to most situations in life. How can we develop trust? What are the keys?
I can only answer from my own background and experience because trust is a very difficult thing to measure and define and each individual’s definition can vary and our brain takes in much more than verbal information when determining trust. For me and what I teach I start with what I said in question one. Trust first starts with a relationship where the other person’s brain is rewarding them for the engagement with you by doing what I outlined above.
Part two of my trust process is to understand the other person’s goals and keeping their goals and priorities on the top of my list of goals and priorities. By making the other person’s goals and priorities yours, trust will develop. Over time (some people faster than others) a need to reciprocate the kindness and relationship will build. In other words, trust is built faster and stronger when there is no personal agenda.
What’s the best way to approach someone you don’t know and ask them for a favor?
Using sympathy and seeking help is always the best. If you can wrap the help / favor you are looking for around a priority and interest of the individual you are engaging, the odds of success increase. Add social proof (i.e., others around you helping already or signed a petition etc.) and you increase it even more. Again, focus on how you can ask a favor while getting their brain to reward them for doing so.
What are some strategies to build rapport while giving a talk, presentation, or interview?
Ego Suspension / self-deprecating humor… Make it all about them! How is the information you are chatting about going to benefit them? Talk about the great strengths and skills they each have already and that all you hope to do is to have them understand their strengths even better and be able to pass them on to others more effectively if they want to. Validate every question and opinion non-judgmentally. If you don’t happen to agree, simply ask “that’s a fascinating / insightful/ thoughtful opinion… would you mind helping me understand how you came up with it?” Again, their brain will reward them on multiple levels for this.
I suspect you spend a lot of time trying to figure out if people are manipulating you or the situation? Can you talk about this? How can you tell when people are attempting to manipulate you?
I’ll start by saying I don’t like the word manipulate. The word tends to objectify people and removes the human being from the equation. When people feel they are objects, trust will not be built. I tend to not think of anyone trying to manipulate me but at times a very self-serving agenda becomes evident. This is what manipulation generally is…. a self-serving agenda where the other person feels used with no reciprocity.
When I notice that there may be an overabundance of a self-serving agenda (manipulation) I don’t judge the person negatively. I try to explore two areas in order to understand them better. (go back to my first answers here… this process begins to build a relationship and trust :)) I try to understand what their objective is and why that is their objective.
What are they trying to achieve, etc. I will also attempt to understand why they felt a certain way of communicating with me would be effective for them in the situation. I tend to ask questions to help them think about how they might be more successful in their objectives using other methods… such as I outlined above.
In other words, help them achieve whatever objective with me they had…. because wasn’t that their goal after all? :) See… keep it always coming back to them.
If you had to give a crash course in building a relationship with someone, what are the top 5 things people need to do? What carries the bulk of the freight so-to-speak?
1) Learn… about their priorities, goals, and objectives.
2) Place… theirs ahead of yours
3) Allow them to talk…. suspend your own need to talk.
4) Seek their thoughts and opinions.
5) Ego suspension!!! Validate them unconditionally and non-judgmentally for who they are as a human being.


Joel ISFJ

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Joel

From Last of Us
Requested by suntbone & zachara123
Personality Type: ISFJ
Dominate Function: Introverted Sensing
Even after twenty years, Joel is extremely tied to his past.  He consistently compares what things are like now, versus how it used to be.  He has a strong memory, and remembers favors he has done for people, old relationships and details about resources he is connected to.  He tends to see how things are done by other people and repeat them.  He has a chip on his shoulder from his rough experiences, and he uses that experience as information to make his choices.
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Auxiliary Function: Extroverted Feeling
Joel cares very deeply about the people around him, but his experience has also made him jaded and cynical about connecting strongly.  Despite his gruff demeanor, however, he wants the best for people around him.  Throughout his life, he felt responsible for taking care of people close to him, and he is not afraid get his hands dirty to make sure that they are protected.  The most important thing to him is the people he connects to, and after his heart was broken he struggles with connecting again in order to protect himself from going through that kind of pain again.
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Tertiary Function: Introverted Thinking
Joel does not let on what kind of rational he is using to think through situations, he does not think things through out loud.  He prefers to have an answer first before acting, and does not particularly like to give orders or orchestrate things.  He leaves building communities and operations to people like Tess and Tommy.  Joel prefers to understand something completely, and takes time to think through the dispassionate facts of the world.  He usually takes some time by himself or takes some quiet time, before he comes around a makes a deliberate choice.  By default, he tends to behave passionately, trying to protect the people around him.
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Inferior Function: Extroverted Intuition
It is not Joel’s strong suit to think outside of the box or to look for other options.  He starts finding alternatives when he is under extreme pressure, mostly out of a stubborn you-can’t-tell-me-what-to-do attitude. Although most of the time his rational is ‘we don’t have much of a choice’, by the end of the game, he creates his own options and avenues.  He doesn’t let himself get cornered by ultimatums.
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Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff
Joel is not an idealist.  He is not looking for truth.  He doesn’t even want to survive, necessarily for himself.  He always searches for something, or rather someone, to give his survival meaning.  Whether that is Sarah, Tommy, Tess or Ellie, Joel is always looking out for the people closest to him, whether they want his help or not.  He places personal loyalty and friendship above everything else.  He is a fearsome Hufflepuff that will stop at nothing to protect the ones he loves.

ISFJ The guardian

The Lord of the Rings: Sam Gamgee [ISFJ]
Si: Sam is sensible, practical, and detailed – the perfect person to see Frodo safely through Gondor. He finds it hard to let go of the past, and is reminiscing about the Shire long into their journey. Sam holds onto things from his former life, to comfort him in unknown places. He wants to return to familiarity and live a sensible, traditional life. Sam doesn’t crave adventure – he wants stability. He never forgets a transgression, and is able to focus Frodo’s mind on past delights just when his friend needs it most.
Fe: Everything Sam does is out of a desire to care for, protect, and please other people. He puts aside all of his own needs to make sure that Frodo is safe, warm, and looked after. He doesn’t sleep so that he can keep an eye on Gollum. Sam sacrifices his own food to keep his friend safe. He risks his life charging into an orc tower to save Frodo. He adapts into whatever anyone needs him to be, whether or not they ask him to. Sam finds it hard to express his own emotions, so they often come out in bursts of anger and frustration.
Ti: He questions things in a desire to understand them. Sam won’t take “no” or “turn back” for an answer. He is smart enough to know that Gollum is misleading them and to discern safe routes through Mordor. Sam tends to keep his thoughts to himself.
Ne: Around Gollum, all of Sam’s warning bells go off. He not only comprehends the powerful hold Gollum has over Frodo, but how Frodo feels in return. He’s aware of the Ring’s influence over his friend, and is devoted to destroying it even if it means he’ll never go home again.

ESFP The performer

Disney’s Brave: Merida [ESFP]
Se: Merida is a natural archer. She hates to sit around doing girly things in the castle – she wants to be out riding her horse, climbing mountains, and hitting bull’s eyes. She can’t sit still for very long, and is driven to action – whether that involves baiting her little brothers or shooting for her own hand in the archery competition. Merida can sometimes be reckless in her rapid decisions—one in particular that threatens to change her life (and that of her mother) forever.
Fi: It’s very important to Merida to be independent and allowed to live up to her own personal standards. She resents being forced to conform to traditions or her mother’s way of thinking. Merida desires a sense of self, and exhibits it both in her supreme kindness and in her rebelliousness. She refuses to change for anyone else, and must come to learn to appreciate and identify with her mother’s belief system.
Te: Once she decides what she wants, Merida goes after it. She isn’t interested in information for its own sake, so much as she is interested in using it to undo her biggest mistake. Merida can be logical in deciding how to get her mother out of the castle, and she is also aware of the consequences of her actions. She has natural leadership abilities that kick in when necessary.
Ni: She quickly figures out that the “woodcarver” is actually a witch. Merida also thinks about what her mother’s bear form will mean for her life if her father discovers her in the castle. But she’s so driven by her other functions that she often doesn’t think about what will happen next.